The Wolverine

Synopsis: Badass X-man. Very bad X-men movie.

Review: Aaaahhh the X-Men franchise, making comic book nerds wet their pants with excitement since the genesis of the series back at the beginning of this millennium. The Wolverine is a continuation of the story arc focusing specifically on Logan (Hugh Jackman), a metal claw touting, ill-tempered badass who likes to mess shit up. Now, for those not familiar with the X-Men franchise it involves a whole bunch of superheroes that have special powers centred around a series of spontaneous genetic mutations. In this case Logan’s power is his ability to rapidly heal, which, coupled with the fact that he has Adamantium (a fictitious indestructible metal) fused to his skeleton as well as some pretty gnarly retractable claws, would make you think that this movie was going to kick ass right? Wrong.

Regrettably The Wolverine is by far the worst instalment in the series, delivering more disappointment than someone working at an STD clinic. The plot follows Logan as he is summoned to Japan to meet an old acquaintance, which sees him become quickly embroiled in a series of incidents involving the Yakuza, businessmen and political officials. The movie tries to get you up to speed with Logan’s tormented past however this feels so incomplete at times and leaves the plot with more holes in it than most of Wolverine’s victims. Jackman is by far the redeeming feature of this flick, which is fortunate because as the only A-list actor his performance does really allow you to stay a bit connected to the story as it meanders aimlessly onward. I must admit I thoroughly enjoyed the action scenes, many of which were uniquely shot (courtesy of director James Mangold), providing the full of sense of havoc that is a necessity when extras are being needlessly slaughtered at the hands of a man more disgruntled than a senior who just found out their concession card is expired.

Apart from the fact that Jackman looks absolutely, ridiculously awesome (yes, two adjectives required, yes, man-crush, I’m cool with it) there’s really not much else to say about this flick. I’ll begrudgingly admit that it’s a must see for all the die hard fans out there but unless you’ve got 126 minutes to kill you’re better off checking out some of the other stuff that’s on at the cinemas at the moment. Unfortunately the whole thing just seems like a random agglomeration of awful villains and terrible good guys barely held together by Jackman's on screen presence (and his guns). As a huge X-Men fan I must say that this movie seems like a lost opportunity to make something really gritty and compelling (much like Chris Nolan’s Batman series), but I guess you can’t have your Adamantium claws and cut with them too.

Score: 2/5

World War Z

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Synopsis: The ‘Z’ stands for ‘ZOMFG this is cool!’

Review: So long story short, this is a zombie movie. Wrap it up any way you like the plot theme follows the same old recipe: infection occurs, spreads through the world, military take control, cure is eventually found, world takes a while to return to normal.  Much like the current Labour leadership, we’ve seen it before, it’s the same, just with a different flavour of shit seasoning sprinkled on top. The flip-side of that coin is – THIS IS A FREAKING ZOMBIE FLICK, and no matter which way you look at it zombie flicks are awesome! World War Z follows the rapid spread of a zombie plague through the eyes of protagonist Gerry Lane (Brad Pitt), an ex-UN employee with a specialist set of skills that makes him the man to figure out how to save the world. Gerry and his family are quickly embroiled in the rapid spread of the disease as it takes over Philadelphia and eventually the rest of the US. Gerry is called on by the US Military to assist an investigation in to the origin of the zombie ‘disease’, which sees him traverse the globe in a search for the cure.

Now, “why see this film?” I hear you ask. “’I’ve seen zombie movies before and to be honest I don’t care for them, also, I’m out of adult diapers”. The answer is simple - the scale of this movie makes all other zombie flicks barely comparable. World War Z starts off faster than a virgin holding hands and (much unlike the virgin) keeps you absolutely enthralled and engaged for the duration of the film. The action scenes are so intense I was longing for a pause button so I could take a few moments to regain my composure before continuing with the incessant suspenseful violence. Brad Pitt is absolutely fantastic (man crushes aside) and carries the story along as the hero superbly. The directing (courtesy of Marc Forster of Quantum of Solace fame) is concentrated, yet broad enough in some of the more intense scenes to really keep you feeling like you’re about to have your jugular ripped out by an infected grandma.  Special mention should also be made about the soundtrack - composed and performed by Matt Bellamy and Muse – which provides a fantastically haunting aural background to many scenes in the movie.

Overall World War Z is a somewhat predictable, yet extremely engaging take on a genre most of us are pretty familiar with. Yes it uses many of the typical clichés we’ve seen before, like “ok we’re just going to sneak past these zombies”, dude clumsily clangs into the loudest item into the room, zombies chase and so on; but you’re able to overlook that because it’s just so damn badass. I’ll admit it won’t be everyone’s cup of tea with many scenes providing more confronting footage than a World Vision advertisement, but if you’re looking for something that will get the heart pumping a little (or a lot) then this is for you. I highly recommend taking along someone who you’re happy to give an “it’s gonna be ok” hug to, even if that means indulging in a little bro-mance. As far as zombie apocalypse flicks go you’ll find it hard to find a better option, check it out soon before the real apocalypse is upon us!

Score: 4/5

Zero Dark Thirty

Synopsis: Bin waiting on this one for a while...

Review: Like the ubiquitous chick flick, US war movies have been released on an almost weekly basis, so much so that the thought of stomaching another piece of trumped up Hollywood propaganda makes you wish they flew the planes into Los Angles instead of the other Sep 11 targets. That said Zero Dark Thirty is a much more unique take on the War on Terrorism which has dominated contemporary popular media in the last few years. Now, we all know how the story ends so there’s not really a whole lot to say about the plot. It’s the same old boy meets girl, fall in love, fly planes into geographically significant landmarks and then in turn be pursued around the globe for the better part of ten plus years. The story centres primarily on protagonist Maya (Jessica Chastain) a new CIA interrogator operating in various CIA ‘black zones’ in the Middle East. Recruited out of high school she’s forced to learn some of the less humane CIA interview techniques in order to garnish information as to the whereabouts of Bin Laden and his inner circle.

Although you would never class this as a documentary it is based on real, historically significant events in the last ten years and provides an interesting insight into the way in which the war has been conducted. The engaging thing about this story is that it quite openly chronicles the grim, gory and sometimes confronting elements of the war against terrorism and the lengths that the ‘good guys’ have gone to in the search for Bin Laden. Furthermore it really does give you an impression of the ineptitude of government departments at times (even at an elite level) and the element of luck that seems to have been involved in Bin Laden’s eventual assassination.

For those that are looking for the good old shoot-em-up this film will not be for you. Bought to us by the director (Kathryn Bigelow) and writer (Mark Boal) of the Academy Award winning Hurt Locker the film’s momentum relies heavily on the compelling performances of the various actors as opposed to the typical Die Hard formula of stunts, crashing cars/planes/boats and enough explosives to clear out the bowel contents of even the most severely constipated. Like Hurt Locker there’s this strong level of suspense that builds throughout the film, which results in a palpable level of anxiety for the viewer, but eventually subsides once the final attack on Bin Laden’s compound in Islamabad. One thing I particularly appreciated was the way the final attack is shot. There is no fanfare that we usually see in some flicks, just a raw cinematic chronicling of the way in which the mission to assassinate him was carried out. Overall Zero Dark Thirty is an engaging, suspenseful well produced insight into the war on terrorism, however this isn’t one to take the partner to on date night unless you’re willing to repay the favour tenfold in chick flicks.

Rating: 3/5

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

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Synopsis: YOU, SHALL, NOT, not enjoy this movie!

Review: Well it’s back! Another production from Peter Jackson in the ever popular (amongst nerds and normal people alike – that’s my story and I’m sticking to it) Lord of the Rings series. An Unexpected Journey is the first part of three films reproducing JRR Tolkien’s classic 1937 novel ‘The Hobbit’ which precedes the original three books and explains the origin of the sinister Ring of Power. Bilbo Baggins, played by Martin Freeman (Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, The Office (UK), Love Actually) is drafted into a band of intrepid travelers – including Gandalf and 13 Dwarves - traveling east to the Lonely Mountain to reclaim their stronghold, and many treasures from the evil dragon Smaug. Now for those reading, yes, it is a Peter Jackson LOTR flick; yes, it is a tad on the nerdy side; but no, you do not have to understand Elvish or subscribe to Wizard Wand Weekly to really enjoy it. Martin Freeman brings a wonderful warmth and quirkiness to the film as Bilbo and is fantastic to watch as he’s washed along in his ‘Unexpected Journey’. The 13 dwarves are a bit like the Colonel’s 11 herbs and spices, all bringing something unique to an overall enjoyable product (but still one you’re a bit ashamed to tell people about). 

 For those wondering (as I did before watching) how Jackson was planning to drag out the shortest of Tolkien’s books into three films, the answer is quite simple - there is a lot of focus on the other characters in the books and the general history (if you will) of Middle Earth. The film is littered with side stories and flashbacks chronicling the many characters that make the story so rich and fulfilling. Replete with epic battles, mystic trivia, epic adventure and that inimitable brand of humor; the story sings along, harmoniously tying together a myriad of intertwining sideshows. There was only one point where I felt as though the dialogue dragged on longer than an episode of Home and Away without really adding anything, but unlike Home and Away (which adds nothing to anything), in this case it is excusable. The thing that most excites me about the continuation of this franchise is that one day, once all the movies with extended footage are released on DVD (or Blu-Ray, or imprinted on our collective sub-conscious’) you’ll be able to sit down for a LOTR marathon that lasts more than 24 hours! In general I think this film is pretty spot on, although there’s nothing groundbreaking here. That said, watching The Hobbit bought back the excitement I felt as a little kid when I originally read the book back in 1995 and, like a hobbit and his meals, I can’t wait for the next two.

 Rating: 3/5