Johnny English Reborn

Synopsis: Bean, Blackadder and now this pile of capital ‘B’ Bullcrap.

Review: After not paying much attention when this franchise came about (yes there was a movie before this one) I don’t know what I was thinking in committing my hard-earned to such an eye-gougingly dull motion picture experience. But alas the pickings at my local theatre were as slim as Women’s Day magazine makes you think you can be, so I was forced to select this cinematic experience with as much joy and vigour as said magazine readers have when they have to choose whether to cut out the cake or chocolate. The term ‘reborn’ in the title holds as much validity in the protagonists’ renewed credibility as Christian baptism does for the repentant (read: absolutely none). The movie is a spoof of the spy genre  which relies so heavily on poorly 'Benny Hill Show' style gags and Rowan Atkinson’s ability to hilarious pronunciation  that you find yourself getting apprehensive about the next word which contains a ‘P’. Agent English is re-enlisted by MI-7 after being previously banished from the organisation for ballsing up a protection mission in Mozambique. English finds himself working in a new politically correct spy establishment that frowns upon the womanising, drinking and general belligerent violence expected of an old-school double-O style assasin. The plot is as poorly formed as a bowel cancer sufferers stool sample and the support actors, all British, don’t really rate a mention. If you’re an Atkinson fan don’t waste your time as you’ll no doubt reduce your opinion of him as an actor, let alone a human being. As a normally boisterous cinema laugher this comedic drivel instigated barely four audible laughs from me in its 101 minute meander towards the bottom of the jester's gag barrel. An inexplicable epitome of lowest common denominator, paltry, slapstick humour, you’ll get more of a laugh watching the latest edition of SBS news. 

Rating: 1/5